'Twas the night before my period,
when all through the house,

one creature was stirring,
but it wasn’t a mouse…

My panties were hung on a
drying rack with care,

because I knew Aunt Flo
soon would be there.

And my phone was nestled
all charging by bed,

while visions of TikToks
played in my head.

I was wearing a t-shirt
and downed my nightcap.

Then I closed my brain tabs
for a long winter's nap.

When from down the hall
there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed
to see WTF was the matter.

Away towards the bathroom
I crept down the hall,

dialed 911 and put
my finger on “call.”

My novelty night light
in the shape of sardines,

gave a glow of blood red
to the whole messy scene.

When what to my
wondering eyes did appear,

but a clear clutch overflowing
with period gear.

And a half goat woman
already mid-cuss,

I knew in a moment
she must be Crampus.

Faster than a feral cat,
she took out her supplies,

murmuring facts
that sounded quite wise:

“Too many people with periods
can’t afford what they need.

Gotta get to them all
before they all bleed.

To bathrooms and purses!
To every last stall!

Deck them with products
one and all!"

As I started to leave,
opting to back away slowly,

Crampus turned to me
and I took her in wholly.

Her eyes—wide and round
they flashed rather darkly!

She was ready to take down
the whole patriarchy!

Clutched in her hand:
Tampons, pads, cups and panties.

Supplies she wielded
like a mad vigilante.

She spoke not a word,
but went straight to her work.

She filled up my cabinets,
then turned with a jerk.

She crammed a final tampon
right into my hand,

gave me a nod and through
the window she ran.

And I heard her exclaim,
as the shards fell out of sight—

“Merry Menstruating to all,
and to all a good night!”

We’re just a few nights
before something big.
Stay tuned.